Green Olive Tree Publishing/Outreach

Robert Scholten

Dumont, Iowa

A Civilian’s Perspective  pg. 5-10

War is not a game.  Yet we have played at it for centuries.  The Bible and the records of ancient times are filled with wars.  No matter how big or small a war is, the ultimate consequence and the sum and substance of it remain unchanged: people die violently.  And not just the active participants – the warriors.  Helpless innocent people – women, children, the elderly, the uninvolved – are caught up in the actual fighting and the aftermath.  People have no homes, no sanctuary, no shelter.  Additionally, animals are torn asunder and killed; crops and their promise of food are wantonly destroyed; communities are disrupted; and habitats are razed.

Perhaps the most powerful and overwhelming outgrowth of the conditions of war is Satan’s favorite tool – fear.  It cannot be avoided for fear is part and parcel of war.

Bob Scholten was one of the nearly three million American soldiers who were hurled into the viciousness of Vietnam.  During his tour of duty, 1970-1971, he saw and experienced things that would haunt him for the rest of his life – some of which he recorded on film and in words.  Since then he has pondered the meaning of the trauma he lived and struggled with.  He knew profound changes had been wrought in him, and he prayed for strength and direction to guide his life, shadowed as it was by haunting experiences whose memories needed to be put to rest.

After battles within his mind led him through indecision, self-doubt, apprehension and the multitude of mental and emotional stumbling blocks that evil can muster, Bob decided to enter the ministry.

With each new day he struggled with a sense of fear, imagined inadequacy and self-doubt.  He continued to pray for guidance, courage, and strength in his own private war, and with his hand in God’s, he moved step by step toward his goal. 

Bob’s depictions of his experiences and reactions as a soldier bring a clarity civilians would otherwise miss.  He takes us briefly, yet powerfully, through each phase, from his fear and dread of being sent to Vietnam, through his grueling and saddening experiences there, to his painful disillusionment when he returned to his own country.

The descriptions accompanying each photograph are poignant in succinctness.  Each corresponds with a Scripture reference, giving them continued and deeper meaning.  These are followed by his personal reactions, stimulated by memories, tempered by the passing of time.

Pastor Bob Scholten’s “Reflections on a Journey to War”, can be read in an evening, yet it leaves an impression that remains long after the last page has been turned.

It is well that we look back upon this controversial war and review what it did to the minds and souls of all of us.  Through Bob, whose position as a gunner on a Duster (open turret tank) put him in extreme and constant danger, we experience vicariously some of what he experienced first-hand.  But it is his spiritual vision of those same experiences that translates the vicarious into personal understanding and temporal into eternal.

I am proud to have been asked to review the manuscript of his book, Reflections on a Journey to War.  Through it I have received a broader understanding and a deeper clarity of the significance of that war and its aftermath.

Norma L. June

Selkirk, New York

 A Veteran’s Perspective

When Bob Scholten asked me to review Reflections on a Journey to War, he indicated that it could probably be read in one sitting during an evening or afternoon.  This is not the case.  Not if you’re feeling and remembering while you read.  Not if you stop to consider how Reflections on a Journey to War relates to you, your family, your life and your experiences.  No, it takes a bit longer.

War, all too often, places one in the position of acting in a manner contrary to one’s upbringing and contrary to acceptable behavior back home.  Confusion, pain, rage and unworthiness are a few of the emotions a soldier/veteran had to and must continue to contend with.  The nature of the Vietnam War, the situation on the home front and aspects of an individual soldier’s re-introduction to that which was home, magnified these effects more so than in preceding wars.  Numbing or shutting down one’s emotions (positive and negative) is a mechanism which was/is often employed to deal with these.  So much energy is required to contain one’s emotions and to keep what may be considered one’s dirty secrets that there isn’t much left for enjoying life as normal people do (Vets’ term).  Sometimes one does not react as expected to positive stimuli.  Sometimes one may react excessively to negative or unwelcome stimuli.  This not only affects the veteran, but those near to him/her.  The inability to share one’s experiences, lack of decompression/debriefing prior to returning home, and the fear of being misunderstood if one attempts to share experiences, add to the confusion and anger vets feel. These can also cause confusion and anger in those around the vet - family, friends, co-workers.  The end result is alienation: feeling like an outsider, feeling unwelcome, not trusting, feeling at loose ends and unanchored.

This is what Pastor Bob addresses in Reflections on a Journey to War.  Every individual needs a life anchor and everyone has a need to feel accepted, loved and understood.  Many find this in their families, in their wives and children, and in other individuals in their lives.  Many veterans have not been successful or do not feel successful in these relationships.  Some, thankfully, have found success after the third or fourth try.  Many are still at sea with their feelings and subsequently their relationships.  Some, who had – or thought they had – found their anchor, are once again lost (someone died, their relationship with the anchor changed).  All too many vets do not have a cousin or an uncle like Bob’s and have not found other anchoring influences.  But Pastor Bob points to one Anchor available to all.  Once this anchor is accepted, He will not die, will not desert you, and will accept you as you are (after all, He already knows all of your secrets).  You can relax, put down your guard and feel contentment.

Bob does not preach to you, he does not clamor for you to follow his lead and he does not directly recruit you.  He simply exposes you to the thoughts and possibilities.  He presents guidance within his story and his experiences.  This is good.  It is important to remember that we Vietnam Vets may shy away from directed commitment and from a frontal assault about what others may think is good for us.  Often the approach is more important than the message.

I encourage every Vietnam Veteran to read Reflections on a Journey to war.  You will identify with much in Bob’s story.  You will smile, chuckle and possibly weep when you realize others share and understand your experiences.  At times, you may be envious.  I know I was.  It is often easier to see oneself in others and their writings than by looking in a mirror.  Take a look at Reflections on a Journey to War.  What do you have to lose?  Perhaps you’ll benefit.  Perhaps you’ll find a path to peaceful contentment.  Maybe you’ll only feel a little less angry, confused, alienated or misunderstood.  It’s a start.  Wouldn’t even that feel good and be worth the effort?

I am proud to know Bob and to know him as a fellow Duster Vet.

Ed Allen - President National Dusters, Quads & Searchlights Association

     A Battery, 4^th AW/SP Battalion 60^th ADA ‘DUSTERS’ 70-71

     B Battery, 7^th Battalion SP, 15^th Field Artillery (8” - 175mm) 71

 The Author’s Perspective

War is hellish.  It leaves dark imprints in the minds and hearts of its victims.  It also leaves unexpected marks of kindness, mercy and love in many of those same hearts.  Therein resides the unseen wars within the lives of veterans and civilians who experience war – whether personally, or second-hand through loved ones.

The Vietnam War is long past, but ever present.  It stretches into the future dragging its captives, wounded and dying, on its demoralizing trail of misery.  It is an unseen war of bitterness, pain and sorrow that refuses to surrender to the most powerful nation in the world. 

There are Vets and family members who have escaped from this Unseen War.  I am one of them.  Over the years I have chosen to reenter this ongoing conflict to make a positive difference in festering and/or broken lives and relationships.

The cost of war is beyond tally as it affects every area of life.  That is especially true of the Vietnam War, as illustrated by this parent’s letter to me in 1992.

      This is how I felt when my son was in Vietnam.  No one will ever know what I went through.  It was God who was with me and my son.

      Living a routine life was impossible the year my only son Bill went to Vietnam.  Waiting for his letters was torture, just waiting day after day for some hope. It seemed like years had passed when actually it was only a few weeks.

      Anxiety overwhelmed me so much I scratched my legs raw.  I had faith in God and left Bill in His hands.  I knew God would be with Bill, but I was a mother whose only son was in Vietnam.

 Welcome to Reflections on a Journey to War, journey through the pages at your own pace, and revisit them often.      Bob Scholten

Note:  Names of people, landing zones, fire bases, villages and provinces have long since left me.  However, I remember many events as if they were yesterday.  Our Duster crews always went by nicknames.  Very seldom, if ever, did we use our real names.  I lived to regret that, as did many other veterans.   I am envious of those who have been able to keep up their friendships over the decades.

The pictures and slides were taken on a small Kodak camera that hung next to me on the inside of the turret.  They were taken at random by myself, and occasionally by fellow crewmembers.  They are representative of photos taken by the average soldier who rode and/or walked his way through Vietnam.  Often I had to wipe the lens clean before taking a picture.

                                                               Disclaimer

The written reflections for pictures with people in them were not written with the individuals in mind. 

                                                       About the Author

Robert Scholten served in the U.S. Army for two and a half years, which included ten months in Vietnam as a gunner on a Duster with the 4^th AW/SP Battalion of the 60^th ADA Artillery.  After his discharge from the military, Robert served as a staff member and counselor at a Christian Servicemen’s Center.  He went on to attend and graduate from Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa, and New Brunswick Theological Seminary, New Brunswick, New Jersey.  Robert has a special place in his heart for Veterans, which has found expression through various Vet outreach programs and ministries since his discharge from the military.  Robert (Pastor Bob), his wife Cheryl and their two daughters live in Dumont, Iowa where he serves the Dumont Reformed Church.  He also serves as the post chaplain of the American Legion in Dumont and as assistant chaplain of the National Dusters, Quads, Searchlights Association.